So who else is gonna be there?
Uh, some sheikhs, diplomats, maybe a lesser ayatollah.
It's a veritable Middle-Eastern potpourri.
Wow. A late-night emergency trip to Washington D.C.
It's crazy. Did they give you an agenda yet?
Hey, didn't you quit being my communications director?
Yeah, I did, but I didn't quit being your wife.
Okay, agenda.
Breakfast, we suggest that they increase oil production,
lunch, we ask them to increase oil production,
dinner, we beg them to increase oil production.
In the meantime, we're being driven around Washington D.C. In a Hummer.
You know what? Maybe I should just go with you.
You know, just to keep you company. It'll be nice.
I was hoping you would fill in for me at the children's-literacy breakfast tomorrow.
Oh, well, okay, but I could still fly out right after that.
You'd hate it. I'd be in meetings the whole time.
- You'd be stuck in an apartment. - It's all the same.
I either wait for you there or I wait here for a baby.
- It's... - Hey.
We're gonna get chosen,
and obsessing on it is not gonna make it happen any...
I'm not obsessing about it.
I'm just concerned, preoccupied.
I'm worried. I'm...
- Okay, define "obsessing." - I wish I could stay and distract you.
But the fate of our internal-combustion engines hangs in the balance.
- I know. - Just try to stay busy.
Right. Right, busy.
Wake up, sweetie. It's time for dinner.
Oh.
Couldn't find my clothes.
And plus, I didn't want to give your new neighbors a show, so...
- I made you peanut butter and jelly. - Oh, with the crusts off. Nice.
I really can't take you seriously in that robe.
Well, I guess I have no choice, then.
I'm going commando.
I don't know if that's gonna make it easier to talk to you.
We'll see.
And your clothes are in the laundry room.
- Ooh. The laundry room. - Mm-hm.
So, what are your plans for tomorrow?
My mom has to be up at the vineyard for a couple days,
so I just need to check her messages. Why?
Well, it's no big deal. It's just, um...
I have my Narcotics Anonymous meeting tomorrow,
and there's a ceremony celebrating our sobriety anniversaries, and...
- It's already been a year? - Give or take a week.
God, I can't believe last year,
I was literally locked in a room with Kevin and Tommy, puking my guts out.
And now I'm sober, and they can't be within a mile of each other.
- A lot happens in a year. - Yeah, tell me about it.
You're now laying in my bed commando.
Whoops.
- Is everyone going? - I mean, everyone's pretty busy.
It's no big deal. I mean, I'm just getting my year chip
and giving a really lame speech.
Of course I'll go with you.
- Really? - And thank you for inviting me.
I know how hard it is for you to talk about this stuff, so...
You're welcome.
Thank you.
For?
For tonight and this afternoon.
- Yesterday afternoon? - And yesterday morning.
- And the laundry room. - I love that laundry room.
- Please come with me. SAUL: No.
- How do you like the soup? - I want the recipe.
Now, why won't you come with me to talk to the Laffertys?
Come on, Nora, because you're planning to knock on a perfect stranger's door
and inform him that his dead wife was unfaithful
and that his son Ryan is not his biological son.
Why in the world would I want to go with you?
Because I don't wanna go by myself.
Saul, you know I wouldn't do this if I had a choice,
but if I don't talk to them, then Holly will,
and you and I both know that if she does,
she'll find a way to inflict maximum damage on our family just out of spite.
Please come with me.
We'll find a way to talk to them
and break the news to them gently and with compassion.
You remember I told you about Rebecca gently and with compassion?
Nora, just leave it alone.
Oh, right, and never get another wink of sleep
waiting for Holly to spread her venom?
This was not an idle bluff.
I just don't want this family to suffer the consequences
of any more of William's moral lapses.
Well, why don't you just ask one of the kids to go with you?
Are you kidding me?
If they find out what I'm doing, they'll be all over that poor family.
I'll have another Italian opera on my hands.
Saul, come on, please. I thought I could count on you.
You can count on me.
Just not for this.
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey. - Hey.
Are you on your way out?
In a minute, to do some errands.
What you got?
Swag from a children's-literacy conference.
I was on lovely-wife duty.
"Senator McCallister can't be with us today.
So in his place, I'd like you to welcome his lovely wife, Kitty."
And then I smile at a sea of disappointed faces.
[NORA GROANS]
William would do that.
He would agree to attend some event,
and then he'd get called away at the last minute,
and I would have to go in his place all by myself.
I hated it.
And now I realize he was probably off diddling Holly
or Connie Lafferty or God knows who.
Ugh. At least Robert is away talking to world leaders.
It's not quite the same.
- No. - Plus, look at this.
I got a goody bag out of it.
Let's see what we have...
- Mmm. - What?
- Oh, honey, your favorite book. - Yeah.
Yeah, I know. You know what? Maybe I'll give it to Elizabeth.
- Do you know if she has it? - She has it.
And so does Paige and so does Cooper.
It's the standard grandmother gift.
Well, is there any reason you're not keeping it for your own baby?
It would feel like we were tempting fate.
I mean, we haven't even been chosen by a birth mother yet, and l...
I don't wanna... I don't wanna jinx anything.
Well, then why don't you let me keep it for you until you're ready?
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay. Okay.
[FINGERS TAPPING]
Oh, God. God. I hate being at such loose ends.
I'm unemployed, my book is glacially going through the publishing process,
I'm missing Robert, and I'm in baby limbo,
and there's not a damn thing that I can do about it.
I just... No, thanks. I don't want a cherry.
You know, I'm very good at solving problems head-on.
But I'm not good at waiting around.
You know, you could always come with me if you wanted, on my errands.
Well, yeah, yeah. I don't have anything better to do.
- Really? - Sure.
KITTY: We drove an hour out of Pasadena to buy fruit?
NORA: This is a hidden gem. They're famous for their artichokes.
KITTY: Mom, we own a produce company.
NORA: Well, how do you think I found out about this?
Only chefs and insiders know about this one.
- Will you look at those melons? KITTY: Mom, come on.
- What's going on? - What? Why?
We have been to a very special, out-of-the-place dry cleaners,
a drug store in Santa Clarita where they supposedly know you,
only nobody who knows you was working today, and now we're here.
So just come on and tell me where we really are going, okay?
Kitty, you know how I've always relied on your strength and your wisdom...
I see through flattery.
- Holly threatened me. - We're running away from Holly?
No, Holly threatened to talk to Ryan Lafferty and his family about his paternity.
- I have to talk to them... - Bakersfield? Why didn't you tell me?
Because I was put in an untenable position...
Oh, this is unbelievable.
I just didn't wanna do this by myself, and then you offered, Kitty.
You said you like to solve problems head-on.
Do they even know that...? Shush!
- Do they even know that we're coming? - Not... No.
- This is really unbelievable. - You said that already.
Well, Mom, how on earth are we even gonna tell them?
I mean, what are we possibly going to say?
- Does this mean you'll go? - Look around, Mother.
I'm in the middle of nowhere. What am I supposed to do?
No, no, no. Just... Let's just go.
- What's the plan? - I don't really have one.
I was hoping something would come to me when he opened the door.
KITTY: Unbelievable. NORA: You said that already.
We need more.
No, you don't need more chocolate chips.
Vanilla.
- What are you up to now, honey? - I'm making baby green sea turtles.
They're trying to get in the water before the birds eat them.
Oh, cheery.
Okay, you two, after I get this muffin mix in the oven,
you need to brush your teeth, get ready for school.
Eva's mom's gonna be here soon, and I gotta get ready for a job interview.
You're going back to work?
Well, if I get this job.
Oh.
I don't have a choice, honey. I gotta work.
This job would be great because I would be able to work from home,
so you'd see a lot more of me than when I was working at Ojai.
Promise? Because you said you'd help me with my diorama but it's not finished.
I will, honey. I promise.
But what if your boss wants you to work long hours?
Well, it's not that kind of job.
My headhunter told me that I would be able to set my own schedule.
You know a headhunter?
Yeah, and I'm gonna get him over here if you don't go brush your teeth.
[COOPER & PAIGE LAUGHING]
I can't believe I've never been here. This place is fantastic.
- Well, cozy is what the realtors say. - Oh, my God.
- This pillow is... - I know. It's so gay.
I was gonna say fantastic.
- You want some coffee? - Already caffeinated, thanks.
Listen, I wanted to see what you were up to this afternoon.
Nothing much. Just catching up on Robert's voting record.
You know, trying to get up to speed before I start the new job.
Cool. Well, I was hoping that maybe you'd come with me to Justin's N.A. Meeting.
He's getting his one-year chip.
- It's been a year? - Yeah.
And, you know, he doesn't wanna make a big deal out of it, but I do.
And seeing as he credits you and Tommy for getting him through the detox,
I was thinking it would be nice if...
Well, for Justin, if you would be there to support him,
maybe set aside your own issues to celebrate and...
I'm sorry. Why the hard sell? What's?
- Oh, you're inviting Tommy. - Come on.
Justin misses hanging out with you two together.
I mean, it would be an amazing gift if you guys both went.
- Can't we just buy him a watch? - Kevin.
Look, I'm really sorry.
There's just a lot of murky, polluted water under the fraternal bridge right now.
Listen, I know it's a lot to ask,
but if you could just set aside your differences for one hour, that's it...
Come on. I know you're a bigger man than this.
I'm actually not. I'm very small and petty.
Okay, I'll be there with the man who fired me,
betrayed me, kicked me out of the family business.
- I'll do that for Justin. - Thank you, thank you, thank you.
If Kevin behaves, I'll behave. All right. I'll see you then.
Okay. Goodbye, Rebecca.
- Hey. - Hey.
- How do I look? - Fine. Great.
You said "fine."
I know better than to have this conversation.
- Why do you care what I think? - I've got this big job interview.
I wanna look young and hip. You know, casual without being apathetic,
professional, not corporate.
- This sounds like a date. - I'd be much less nervous if it was a date.
It's a job. It's such a great job. It's CFO of a small Internet company.
They specialize in organic and local produce.
It's a start-up, flexible hours,
and they're comfortable with a telecommute, so I can work from home.
So perfect that I'm not gonna get it.
Whoa, a start-up is your perfect job?
Well, it's not really a start-up.
You know, from what I gather, it's more of an already-started.
Good salary commensurate with experience.
Stock options, which is great,
because apparently in this job market, I'm only worth half as much as I used to be.
- I mean, you, food, it's a slam-dunk. - Right.
But the Internet thing...
These guys are apparently like wunderkinds.
They're gonna take one look, see a person old enough to be their...
- Mother. - I was gonna say sister.
Wow, I fell into that one.
Sarah, it's your first job interview since school and you're nervous.
- It's fine. - Yeah, well, I should be.
I'm a mother of two with a mortgage and alimony payments.
- I've gotta nail this interview, Tommy. - Sarah, you will.
Relax.
They'd be foolish not to hire you.
- You think? - Yeah, sure.
You screwed your coworker, you almost tanked Dad's company,
and you quit without any notice.
WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Current weather condition in Bakersfield is...
Hi, honey. I guess you're really tied up in meetings.
But Mom and I are on our way to Bakersfield.
- Yeah, it's a long story. - Robert McCallister...
Oh, hey, they're talking about Robert on the radio.
Oh. Well, that's funny. They're talking about you on the radio.
McCallister of California is expected to spend five days touring the Middle East.
- What? - Middle East?
- Wait a minute. - Israel, Iraq and Turkey.
- In a press conference... - Oh, no. No, no, no.
Robert, Robert, are you crazy?
Now why on earth would you go to the most dangerous place on this planet
and not tell me? And why did I have to hear about it on the radio?
And call me.
He lied to you about where he's going.
- That's the house. - Hmm. Well, it's pretty.
I mean, nothing to signal crazy serial killer inside.
Let's just get this over with.
Fine.
KITTY: You okay? NORA: I'm shaking.
I feel sick to my stomach. I think I'm gonna cry.
- You ring the bell. KITTY: Okay.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
KITTY: Oh, wait. NORA: What?
- Oh, okay, it's Robert. - Kitty.
No, no, just give me one second. I'm sorry. Just one second.
- Hello. ROBERT: Hey, Kitty. It's me.
- Where are you? - We're refueling in Cyprus.
I'm sorry. I wanted to let you know before the press broke it,
but the State Department insisted we keep it classified.
Okay, but I seriously doubt the State Department
thought that I would notify Hamas.
You need to see this for what it is.
An opportunity to influence policy on a world stage.
Robert, this about you running again in 2012.
- I don't wanna have this argument. - I'm not arguing. I'm stating a fact.
MAN: Excuse me, senator. - Okay, look, I have to go, but I love you.
All right. I love you too.
- Not home. - Oh.
- Oh, so, what now? - We wait.
Hi. I'm Sarah Walker. I hope I'm not late.
No, no, not at all. We're early. Hi, Kyle DeWitt.
- Hi. - This is my partner.
- Ethan, right? - Yep. Hey, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
KYLE: So I'm so sorry that we're doing this here.
- It's that our offices are being renovated. - There's no need to apologize.
This... This is great.
So, what do you know about Greenatopia?
Not very much. Just what the recruiter told me.
So please tell me more.
Okay, good. We'll start at the beginning then.
This company was born under one basic assumption:
People wanna do more to help the environment,
they just don't have access to enough information.
- They're confused. KYLE: Who can blame them?
Any globally conscious consumer is immediately confronted with decisions
the second they walk into a supermarket.
Do they buy organic produce from overseas,
or buy conventional that's locally grown?
Contribute to groundwater pollution, ingest pesticides into your system,
or do you expand your carbon footprint and increase global warming?
Because of the diesel it takes to get your Australian organic mango to your plate.
You're right. Save your body, or save the planet.
- That's a tough consumer choice. - Exactly.
So a couple years ago, I'm out surfing.
Oddly enough, I get my best ideas when I'm in the ocean.
Right.
I'm waiting on this wave and this idea comes to me:
What if there was a website where people could log on
and find out what kind of impact the food they buy has on the environment?
ETHAN: And that's the origin of Greenatopia.
Just log on, enter your ZIP code and, boom,
our robust and efficient database-retrieval engine
gives you all the pertinent information you need.
It's, uh... It's genius.
It is the Internet at its best, you know?
- It's the democratization of information. - Right.
And while we help mom-and-pop America make nutritious, planet-friendly choices,
we rake in serious coin.
KYLE: Well, okay, what my partner means to say,
is that we have identified a market and created a means to target that market.
With revenue streams from both consumers and vendors.
You do have the chance to make some serious coin.
Vendors are lining up right now, and the website's in beta testing.
- We're ready to launch that pilot program. - That sounds great.
Can I start you three with a drink?
Sparkling water for me, please.
- Beer. - Yeah, I'll have a beer.
WAITER: Got it.
- Oh, make that three beers. WAITER: Sure.
Welcome, everybody, to the TGIF afternoon meeting.
I'm Paula, and I'm an addict.
ALL: Hi, Paula. PAULA: Hey, everybody.
Glad you guys are here.
- Good. I thought was late. - You are.
I heard about the new job. That's awesome. Congrats.
Thanks.
Look, can we just bury the hatchet now, please?
I think you're the one who did the hatchet job.
Maybe me firing you wasn't the worst thing that ever happened.
I mean, if you think about it, you have a new career.
I'm sorry. You want me to thank you for firing me?
You have a personality disorder, you know that?
Oh, stop being such a drama queen.
- Can you get out of the way? - I'm not in your way. Go.
- Just move. - After you.
- Don't be a doofus. - Hey, don't touch me.
Don't do that.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Now, have you guys thought about franchising this?
Because there is no reason that this shouldn't go global.
Your mouth, God's ears.
It's... I mean, really.
- You could be in on the ground floor. - Well, that would be exciting.
It's really exciting.
One last question.
If you could have dinner with any president, alive or dead, who would it be?
FDR.
Hmm. Interesting.
Sarah, listen, your experience, your education, your personality, it's all...
- It's all very impressive. - Thank you.
And can I just say right here,
that I would very much like to be part of your organization.
I think we'd love that too.
But we have other candidates to meet before we make a decision.
- Oh. Oh, right, of course. ETHAN: Yeah.
Well, thank you so much.
But do let us know if you get any other offers.
- I will. - Thank you for coming to lunch.
- Thank you so much. - Okay.
KITTY: You know the thing that bugs me the most
is that he couldn't take two seconds to call me
and tell me he was halfway around the world.
Yeah. That does sound fishy.
What do you mean?
I don't know. Maybe he's hiding something else.
This is about national security, not nookie.
For some men, it's sex. For others, it's power.
Two sides of the same coin, Kitty.
Mother, whatever you're trying to say, why don't you just come out and say it?
Sweetheart, I've watched you all day tying yourself in knots about Robert.
- "Where is he? What is he doing?" - Oh, that is not true.
I worry about you, that you're headed down this dangerous path.
He's obviously prioritizing career over family.
Now he's lying to you.
Mom, you're getting very close to crossing a line here.
Kitty, I've watched him.
I'm afraid he's turning you against your family.
I'm gonna go get some air.
- Kitty. Look, I'm sorry. - Ugh.
- I'm sor... Please get back in the car. - No.
First of all, Robert has not turned me against the family.
You were certainly quick to abandon me on the porch just now.
I took a phone call.
What about that night at your house
when Robert verbally attacked me and the rest of our family?
You never came to anyone's defense.
So now we get down to it.
This is about that stupid fight that you had with Robert.
It wasn't a fight.
It was a dressing down in the most arrogant, aloof sort of way.
I'm not gonna stand here, Mother, and let you criticize my husband.
And by the way, that is your perception.
That is not how I see it.
Kitty, with Robert, family will always run a very distant second place to his ambition.
You are such a piece of work, Mother.
- Why are you suddenly...? - I care about you. You're my daughter.
I know what it's like to be married to a powerful man.
You don't know what it's like to be married to Robert.
You don't know my relationship.
I am not you, and Robert is definitely, definitely not Dad.
[DOG BARKS]
It's okay. Stop, stop. It's okay. It's okay, boy.
I'm sorry. He's usually very friendly.
- Yeah. - I think the shouting scared him.
- Oh, I'm sorry. No, it was my fault. - It's just a little misunderstanding.
- She's my mother. - I'm her...
Yeah, we're... We're just here waiting for the Laffertys.
Oh, I'm George Lafferty.
Oh.
- Hi. - Oh, hi, Mr. Lafferty.
I'm sorry. Who are you?
So is it just you in the house?
Uh, my son Ryan's back in school.
Peter and Richard live in the Bay Area.
So now tell me this long story about how you knew Connie
that brought you all the way from Pasadena.
Uh...
George, I have a confession to make. I wasn't entirely honest before.
I didn't personally know your wife, but my husband did.
- He died a few years ago. - Two.
Two years ago, and he and Connie did some work together.
William Walker. Ojai Foods?
I wish I didn't have to tell you. I don't know how to begin.
My husband and your wife, we think, had an affair.
You think?
Based on what?
Well, we've pieced together information. My...
My husband did this sort of thing more than once.
That's not my problem. That's your problem.
Look, we know how difficult this is to hear,
- and it's even more... GEORGE: No, I'm sorry.
You cannot come into my home and say these disgraceful things
about a woman who's not around to defend herself.
Did you ever even meet her?
Do you know anything about what kind of marriage we had?
Let me tell you something.
It's been hell on my family since Connie died.
It almost destroyed my children.
And now when we're just finding some fragile bit of normalcy,
you come in here with this horrible story.
Now, If you could please just go.
- Yes. Yes, Mom... - George, I know you're upset.
- If you would please just hear me out. - Come on.
- George, please. - Don't contact me or my family again.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
SARAH: I thought it was a good interview.
Well, to be honest, I thought they would offer me the job right then and there.
Okay, well, let me know when they decide.
Thanks for calling.
You think there are too many cormorants?
You can't have too many cormorants.
- So did you get the job? - I'm on a shortlist.
Is that good?
Well, better than not being on a list, I guess,
but there's a lot of people looking for work.
But you're the smartest.
You are the sweetest.
- So, what goes in next, these little guys? - Yeah.
I'm gonna do an extra-credit report on them so I can be sure to get an A-plus.
Maybe there's extra credit you could do, you know, to get the job.
That is a good idea.
Paige, that is a really good idea.
Okay, so anybody else have anything to share today?
No? All right.
Then we got some one-year birthdays to celebrate today.
Justin, up here.
- Thank you. - Congratulations.
I'm proud of you. Let's hear it for Justin.
MAN 1: Way to go, man.
Hi, I'm Justin. I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic.
ALL: Hi, Justin.
I just want to say that I'm grateful for being here, clean and sober,
because a year ago, I don't think that would've been the case.
God, I mean, you know, I remember stealing money from people I loved.
I ruined countless family dinners, birthday parties.
I may or may not have thrown up on a few family members at a certain point.
I don't wanna talk about that,
but I'm just really grateful that they forgave me.
I don't know why they did, but they did,
as well as my girlfriend, which means...
[DOOR BANGS]
Stop.
- I'm so sorry. - Sorry.
KEVIN: So sorry. TOMMY: Ignore us.
Yeah, should we?
[MOUTHS] I'm so sorry.
Um...
I guess the lesson I learned last year is to enjoy the ordinary day,
because that's all I have is today. So thank you.
MAN 2: Congratulations. WOMAN: Good job.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
KYLE: Coming. Gonna need 5 bucks from you if I'm gonna tip this guy.
Otherwise, we're screwed.
Sarah, hey. What are you doing here?
- Is this your office? - Um, sort of, yeah, our offices.
Man, beer in the shower is the best. Is the pizza...? Ooh.
Sarah...
Okay, what is this? Is this, like, a scam?
It's not a scam. I know this doesn't look like much...
Well, you're right about that.
- So the renovations, that was just a lie? - I can explain the renovation.
Salary commensurate with experience?
Once we're in a financial situation where that's possible...
Benefits package?
When vendors are lined up, benefits.
- How about the beta testing? - That's true.
Oh, good. Small kernel of truth.
- Sarah, we were honest with you. - What?
- We were mostly honest. - Are you serious?
It's a new company. I said that. It's a start-up.
The headhunter. The lunch. You've done nothing but lie
- No, Sarah... - since I first heard "Greenatopia."
God, I am such a fool.
I spent the afternoon working up this proposal to impress you guys.
Here. Choke on it.
She is mad.
KITTY: Oh, God. I don't even know where we are.
I must have taken a wrong turn or something. L...
Mom, you tried to do the right thing. It was impossible.
And telling him about Ryan would've made it so much worse.
- You gotta stop beating yourself up. - Pull over.
- What? Now? - Pull over. Stop the car.
- Okay, are you sick? - Pull over now.
KITTY: What's wrong? Wait, wait, Mom.
Mom, are you okay?
Mother, what are you doing?
I hate you, William Walker!
You're a selfish son of a bitch!
- Mom, Mom, stop. - Don't stop me.
You never loved anyone but yourself and your stupid penis!
Whew. Whoa.
That one really took it out of me.
Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.
KITTY: So do you feel a little bit better?
Oh, George was right.
I barely understood my own marriage.
How could I possibly understand anyone else's?
Kitty, I'm so sorry.
I should never have said those things about you and Robert.
- You weren't that far from the truth. - Well, the truth is overrated.
The truth just broke George Lafferty's heart.
The truth broke my heart.
- I'm swearing off of it. - Oh, come on, Mom.
You didn't tell me anything that I don't already know.
I mean, Robert's ambition?
I mean, that's been a thing between us since the election,
and I know that he wants to run for president again,
and he knows that I don't wanna slog through another national campaign.
I mean, especially if... If we ever have kids and...
You know, the truth that breaks my heart
is I'm afraid if he ever had to choose, he...
He wouldn't choose me.
Oh, Kitty.
Regardless of anything I said, Robert loves you.
I never doubted that.
I know, and the truth is, is that we're...
We're doing okay right now,
and, you know, if he wants to run for president in four years,
we'll just deal with it then, right?
Perhaps you'd like to get some of that out of your system?
I highly recommend it.
KITTY: No.
I think it would be much more productive for me
to check my voice mail and see what he has to say for himself.
[SIGHS]
Uh...
- What? What? - Oh, my God. Mom.
- Mom, no, just listen. Listen. - What is it?
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: She's six months pregnant, she lives in Missouri,
and she wants to meet you and Robert as soon as possible.
Call me back and I'll give you all the information.
Congratulations.
- Mom. Mom, I got picked. - Oh, Kitty.
- Yes. - We got picked!
- You got picked. Oh, honey! - Oh, my God!
Mother, there's a woman in Missouri who wants to give me her baby!
NORA: Oh, Kitty, congratulations.
Oh, I'm dying of curiosity.
I wish we had that social worker's home phone number.
Got her address? We could go over there and bang on her door.
- Ha. - Ha.
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey. Congratulations, Kitty. - Oh, Mother.
Everyone wants to celebrate with you. Look.
- I'm so happy for you. - Thank you.
She made you a cake with a little candle on it.
Oh, Rebecca. Rebecca, that is so sweet.
Oh, no. Actually, this is for Justin.
It was his one-year birthday of sobriety, so...
Oh, well, that's not until next week.
Well, they gave him his one-year chip at his N.A. Meeting today.
- Really? - He should've told us.
You know Justin. He didn't wanna make a big deal.
Well, that's tough. We're gonna make a big deal out of it tonight.
- Pizza. SAUL: Okay.
KITTY: Yay!
Wow, you guys must really be hungry.
Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you.
Congratulations, sweetheart.
Thank you, Uncle Saul, you know, but it's just... It's not a sure thing yet.
Well, nothing in life is a sure thing. You should celebrate this, kiddo.
Yeah.
- Hey, Mom. - Don't you "Hey, Mom" me.
- What the hell happened to you? - I was referring to Kitty.
- Hey, Mom. - Well, what the hell did happen to you?
- Nothing. - He got into a little tussle.
- Yeah, a little bit. - What?
- You had a fistfight? - No.
It wasn't a fistfight because none of us landed a decent punch.
Although I did slap him pretty hard at one point.
Let me see your hand.
You hurt your... What is the matter with you?
- You act like 10-year-olds. - Yeah, where's the other 10-year-old?
I just saw him out back. He's on his way in.
- Tommy Walker! TOMMY: Yeah.
Good sweet God in heaven. What is the matter with you two?
This is just a scratch. It's fine, okay?
Look, tonight is about Jus and Kitty.
- Congrats, honey. - Look at you.
Thank you.
JUSTIN: All right, guys. Come on this way.
I just wanna show you something real quick.
- After you. - Uh...
Come on in.
TOMMY: Oh, come on. JUSTIN: Stop, stop, stop.
What goes around comes around, okay?
It's time for an intervention.
Right here, right now, you two, Bitches Anonymous.
All right? I'll start.
"Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm a bitch, and I'm powerless over my anger."
- Stop being an idiot, Justin. - No, stop.
Seriously, both of you stop. This feud has been going on way too long.
Never mind how you're hurting each other, you're starting to hurt other people.
You ruined Rebecca's surprise, you got Mom beside herself.
Mom's always beside herself.
You know what? Do this for me.
You guys have forgiven me for so many things.
I don't understand why you can't forgive each other.
- It's not that easy. JUSTIN: It is that easy. Baby steps.
We have a saying in Narcotics Anonymous. Fake it till you make it.
Oh, please.
JUSTIN: I know it sounds corny, but it works.
I'm just asking you guys to pretend that you don't hate each other,
and then eventually, you may end up not hating each other.
- I doubt that. - You owe me for ruining my meeting.
Okay, fine. I'll fake it. Whatever.
Tommy?
This is me faking it.
JUSTIN: See? Was that so hard?
We made big steps today. Now let's get back out there.
I'm sorry Robert couldn't be here to celebrate with us.
Oh, really? You mean Mr. Arrogant?
Senator Arrogant, if you please, and, yes, because he makes you happy.
And that's really the important thing.
Oh...
Here. You can take this home now. The jinx is off.
Yeah.
Yeah, but what if the birth mother decides she doesn't like us,
or what if she changes her mind?
I mean, there are a million things that can go wrong.
Maybe when I talk to Robert and I hear his voice and he's happy about it,
I don't know, maybe it'll make it feel more real or, I don't know.
You can't put your happiness on hold.
You can celebrate with Robert when he gets home,
but you should be happy now, today, right this second.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay! I'm happy!
Yeah.
REBECCA: Good morning.
Hey.
- Is that my robe? - I stole it last night.
You stole my robe?
Yeah, so you don't have to go commando.
Listen, I just wanna say I'm sorry again for overstepping with Kevin...
Don't apologize.
Seriously, you said you're sorry about 17 times.
- You don't have to. - No, I know, I just...
I want you to know how much it meant to me
that you let me into that hard part of your life.
- I know it's not easy for you. - I'm getting better.
Yeah.
And I wanna reciprocate, so...
- Voilą. - What's this?
It's a key to my place.
I want you to be here whenever you wanna be here.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I like that. - Yeah?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
If you're a monster, I'm going to ruin you.
- What's up, buddy? - What are you doing here?
- I didn't know you were a mom. - Yeah.
Coop, would you go put your lunch in your box?
Yeah, I have two kids, an ex-husband,
siblings who don't have any boundaries and a mother who treats me like I'm 16.
That's cool.
This is a little weird. What do you want?
- Listen, what we did was... - Thoughtless.
It was despicable and morally reprehensible.
Yes, all those things, all right?
But our business plan and our concept is good.
It's really good, and I could tell that you're into it.
- Mm-hm. So? - We put everything we have into this
and we have to make it work.
All right, Ethan left this kick-ass job in Silicon Valley,
we borrowed every cent we could from family and friends
and the reason we don't have any offices
is because we put every single penny into this website.
All right? I'm sorry we lied to you.
We were scared that you wouldn't take us seriously
and I'm sorry for that because that's my bad.
Yes. It is.
But I had to come over here because you're perfect.
Can I come in for five minutes?
- I'll give you two. - Done.
Not only are you awesome,
but you're experienced, and, Sarah, you're so smart.
We read your proposal adding a networking component to this website.
Come on, that's brilliant.
Listen, your business has a lot of potential.
But I can't take that kind of risk.
No, it's not a risk if you come on board, all right? We need you.
You can make this happen. I know that, I know that in my gut.
- I can't. - Okay, I'm not above begging.
- On my knees. - Oh, no, no, no, don't do that.
Listen, I need a paycheck at the end of the month.
I'll sell my truck.
- You serious? - Yeah.
- My terms? - Anything you want.
- My schedule? - Anytime you want.
- Work from my house? - Did you see our place?
- No more lying. - Never again.
- Okay. - "Okay" as in you're gonna take the job?
Okay, I'm taking the job.
I've got carpool, gotta take my kids to school.
So why don't you go get Ethan, get some coffee, we'll start in 45 minutes.
Awesome.
SARAH: Hm.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
- Hello. - Kitty.
Well, hey.
Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. This is the first second I've had to talk.
That's okay. You were talking to the Knesset.
I mean, how do you get away from that, right?
So how are you? How was your trip to Bakersfield?
It's a long story, but, Robert, listen.
The social worker called, and we got picked.
- We got picked? - Yes.
Yes, we did.
Okay, let's see, the birth mom is from Missouri.
I love Missouri.
- And she's six months, she's healthy... - Six months?
- You mean, we'll have a baby... - In three months.
We're gonna have a baby in three months. Can you believe it?
No. No, l... I can't.
- Can you? - No.
- Oh, Kitty, this is amazing. - I know.
I know, I know, it is. It is, and I'm really happy
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Coming, coming, coming.
George.
I was up all night.
Thinking about why you'd drive all that way
to tell me about an affair that my dead wife supposedly had with your dead husband.
You don't seem like a sadist.
I just...
I keep wondering, is there more to it?
Is there?
When did this affair take place?
About 22 years ago.
What you came to tell me about, it's about my son, isn't it?
It's about Ryan.
George, please, won't you come in?